So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
