did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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