i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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