I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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