i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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