areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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