I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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