You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
