I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
