I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
we should paint friendship bongs
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