Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
