If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
