you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
