I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
