I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
