Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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