he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
