You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
