coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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