i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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