Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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