woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize