handjob tips. give me some.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
