remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize