Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize