just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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