he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
