Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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