Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
