Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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