doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
