Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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