About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
