your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
