Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
