i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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