dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
