My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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