Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
