You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm passing your future prison.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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