I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
