thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
