I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
3 2 1 whiskey
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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