You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
