I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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