erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
