make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
