Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
