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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.

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• (310): View more from California

  I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..

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• (904): View more from Florida

  if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I am never drinking with the goths again.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout

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