Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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