this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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