Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
