he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
