The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
