dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Randomize